oh, hello again...

I shall refrain from posting another blog about how much I simply adore the Autumn season, though it will be difficult, (how can you not talk about something you love?!) Still, I am not entirely sure what this will be about. I usually have a theme, a title or some occurrence that leads me to write. To be sure there are plenty of themes running through my head and heart, but I do not want to turn this into a heartfelt journal entry... I just want to get back into the swing of blogging.

( Long pause. I write something. backspace. rewrite. backspace. pause...)

 I am finding it hard to gather my present thoughts into one neat category... I simply cannot gather them enough to articulate them into words ... perhaps this is why I have not blogged in more than 5 months...

(long pause. I'm thinking... this is harder than I remember). 

Just now I observed my exhausted 4 year old niece throw herself onto the couch in frustration saying to her mother in an exasperated voice, "I can't do it! I've tried and tried, I can't do it!" I now find that her words are mine.

I give up.


Indeed, this is why I have not posted in such a very, very long time..................

So as not to waste your time, I wanted to end this with a promise. So I started looking through all the P's I have marked in my Bible. (I write a P next to the promises I read in Scripture). To be sure there are more promises than I can count in scripture, so my ongoing search was not for a lack of finding one. It was more like I found too many, a plethora to chose from  and then I found this. Psalm 46:10. After all this time of trying to find out what I am supposed to be saying, I've come these words-

"Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

Be still.
 
Be still and know ... 
He is God. 

promise.

Joy, Ballet Shoes and The First Cup of Morning Coffee

"You are preparing joy for me and me for joy"~ Valley of Vision
Such a lovely promise... one that I am clinging to. I am more thankful and excited than I can say for the eternal and perfect presence of my Savior where joy is full and unhindered.

There is a girly feeling that comes along with wearing ballet shoes. Which is perhaps why I wear them. I wear them to work and sometimes to Wal-Mart. I have never danced ballet, but I think it would be neat to say that I have. Alas, I cannot, so I satisfy myself with wearing the slippers and feeling at least that much like a ballerina.

 I was talking to a friend about coffee, and she put it well when she said that there is not much to compare with that first cup of coffee each morning. I would agree, in fact I would say that there is little to compare even to the smell of coffee. Even non coffee drinkers like the smell. But the taste is simply wonderful too. It's good on a rainy day, and it's good on a sunny day. It's just one more reason to be a morning person. Because let's be honest, it's better to enjoy it in a cup at your table with some literature, than in a thermos in your car on your way to work.

All the single ladies...

So tonight as I cleaned the kitchen I thought of a blog title, and suddenly I was inspired to blog. At first my topic seemed negative, then it became altogether confusing... at this moment I do not know where this is going, but I guess I'll figure that out... 

I used to be a hopeless romantic, that is up until recently... I guess I wasn't that hopeless. I'm not against romance or realationships or marriage; I'm simply at the point where I realize they don't play a part in my story now... so I am left with the question: what am I to do with them?
 The answer to this question came to me today while I was in prayer at work, and it was a surprise, but altogether freeing and delightful. Here it is: Put them away... for now.

The thought of romance thrills one's heart beginning at a young age; every little girl wants to be a princess, and I believe part of that is rooted in her desire for a prince. Every princess has a prince. But what to do when you grow up and those are just stories, delightful, but empty... ?
Another freeing answer: Surrender these desires to the One who put them within you. The One who made you to have them, and the Only One who can satisfy them. Let Him be Lord over them, and let them draw you to the God who fashoned your heart and sustains it even now. Do not fret.
The desires for relationship and marriage are not bad... in fact, God put those desires there in the first place, but sin distsorts what God made to be holy. Fight sin! And cling to the promises of a Holy God. Cling to the Cross of Jesus in the midst of the utterly mundane and in the midst of deepest doubt.

For me, I realized that my heart was in the wrong place completely concerning relationships and singleness, which led to doubt and fear and sin. But God, who is gracious brought me to the cross and it was there where I saw my brokeness, and there where God made me to surrender, and there where I found freedom.
It's amazing to me that something that seems so small and harmless can consume one so much, but what is more amazing is that Jesus died to free us from that bondage and clothe dirty sinners with his righteousness that we can stand before a Righteous God and spend eternity in his presence where there is fullness of joy.
Amazing that he died to bring us to relationship with Himself.

The world paints the banner of loneliness over the title "single". But I truly think there is beauty in singleness, and being single is potentially one of the furthest things from being lonely. (Example: Paul was never married)


To everything there is a season. This too shall pass. But I wait for the LORD, my hope is in Him. He is my delight. His love is better than life. His banner over me is love.

Putting away my obsession with marriage is not a putting away of all my dreams. And it's likely that I won't be forever unmarried. But no matter what, I know where my satisfaction lies, and that is in my Beloved Savior.

"God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in him. "


Note: the title of this post was not the original title that inpired this post... funny how that works.

Priorities and promises...

So.... it's been awhile. I could say that it's because I haven't had time to blog... but that would be a lie. The truth is, I'm learning to prioritize and blogging hasn't been at the top of my priority list... but really... a lot of good things have been found at the bottom of my list or in the back of my mind. Sadly, a lot of pointless things have taken precedence. But I guess that's somewhat beside the point... I guess.

This blog will be short, not for a lack of time or interest, but for a lack of content... I can only spill my guts so much.


Here are the goings on in my world... huh... my world, such a small place...
Friendship, adoption, worship, work, relationships, Hershey kisses, wondering, friendships, day dreaming, snow days, reading, snow, grace upon grace.
Here are the goings on on Facebook...
movie quoting, engagements, relationships, drama drama drama, pointlessness.

Here are some words that I'm thinking on...

"Don't hold on to, worship, value and adore something today that will no longer matter tomorrow."
-Abigail Eli


"He wrote this chapter, he will be evident in it."
-Hannah Lea at Precious and Very Great Promises

 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
-Proverbs 3:5-6

Romans 2:4-10, 2 Cor. 15:54-56, 2 Cor. 16:14, Phil 3:7-10, 1 John 4:9-10, Rev.22:20
...and many many more promises found in the Word.

A bunch of silliness really...

Last week I sat at work on a cloudy day, business was slow, so I decided to makes lists... and here they are.

21 reasons why I love my sister:

1. She's amazing. 2.She listens. 3.She makes me laugh. 4.She brings me chai tea while I'm at work. 5.She quotes movie lines ...like all the time 6.She's ambitious 7. She's in love with her Savior. 8. She's brilliant. 9.She's quirky 10. She speaks French (a little) 11. She's theatrical 12.She's punctual. 13. She likes Narnia. 14. She likes Harry Potter. 15. She's a brilliant writer. 16. She's clever. 17. She's a lot like my mom. 18. She's herself. 19. She's the perfect size for hugging. 20. She sings. 21. She's the best sister in the whole WORLD!

14 things I'd rather be doing:

1. listening to Christmas music 2. leading Barnstormers in the daily routine of camp. 3. chilling at home with my family. 4. having a really good conversation. 5. drinking some hot beverage while snuggled in a blanket watching a Christmas movie with my mumsie and sister 6. doing life lessons with Rachel P. (My coffee addicted college student friend) 7. dancing through central park singing, accompanied by an outrageous and exciting ensemble of theatrical people. 8. watching it snow 9. reading a letter from a friend. 10. taking pictures. 11. wrapping Christmas presents 12. drinking coffee with my Dad 13. reading from the Word 14. doing #13 with my most favorite people

5 reasons why I wanted a blog:

1. Other bloggers inspired me.  2. to proclaim and the promises and mercies of a gracious, holy, awesome God. 3.to have an outlet for brilliance (haha, just kidding) 4. to proclaim His excellencies. 5. to process the extraordinary and sometimes mundane things of everyday that I encounter on this Journey to the heights.

Inspiration...

I'll put it this way: These are 4 of the most inspiring women in my life.

1. My mother. I will forever be amazed by her patience, humor, compassion, love, and humility. I will forever be in awe of the Woman she is: wife, mother, Queenie, teacher, friend, mentor, leader, servant. I am in awe of the love she has for her family and the patient endurance through which she daily serves and gives of herself to provide for us. I am inspired by her love for her Savior. I will forever cherish her heart and her love.

2. My sister. I hold her opinion in high regard. She's witty, silly, smart, mature, genuine and loving. She is a Woman of integrity. She shows wisdom beyond her years. I am inspired by her passionate love for Christ and her pursuit of the knowledge of Him. I will forever cherish her friendship.

3. My Aunt. I will always be amazed at the way she relates to people. I'm inspired by the way she can make a stranger feel welcome and cared for; the way she encounters people and -perhaps without even knowing it- shows them Christ-like love. (The evidence that He is working in and through her). I see in her a thirst for knowledge and truth. She shows great love for her family. She is hospitable and patient. She is a servant. She is witty, and has a wonderful way of making people laugh. I will forever cherish her wisdom and cherish that she has so humbly and lovingly reached out to me.

4. My co-worker. I will forever love her heart. I have seen such a great and patient love in her. The way she cares for people and reaches out to them inspires me. She has a selfless, servant heart. She loves her Savior, her family and pretty much everyone else. She is compassionate and understanding. She has a marvelous way of looking at things from another's point of view, which is just another example of her selflessness. She gives and gives and gives. The way she loves is evidence of Christ's love and grace at work in her heart.  I cherish her listening ear, her kindness, her love and encouragement.
                                                                                                ~

This list could be far more extensive. The length of each paragraph is not long enough to truly describe the height of their character nor my regard for them. I could go on and on about the ways these women have touched and impacted my life, but I have laid out the essentials.

There are plenty of other women who could make this list longer, and if I had time, I might make it the list of 20 inspiring women... sisters- in- law, cousins, grandmothers and friends. I can honestly say that the Lord has blessed me with a great number of examples and godly friends. I value each and every one. I respect and cherish them. I admire and adore them. But I must give credit where credit is due and all credit is due to the One who formed and made them. The One who created their every whim, and wrinkle. The one who intricately wove them together in the womb. The one who chose them to be conformed to the likeness of His Son. The One who began His work in them and is carrying it on to completion. The very One whose love makes them beautiful and whose grace makes them worthy. The One who has placed them in my life and continues to bless me by their kindness, love and encouragement, and grow me through their example.

Why I like today...

Today is one of those dreary days. It's not raining now, but everything is wet and the sky is gray. Most of the trees have lost their leaves leaving the woods looking very bare. Add fog to this mixture and you have a positively eerie day. I like it. I'm usually all for sunshine, but there is just something about a gray day here and there... it's not a rainy day, (I don't like rainy days,) it's just gray. Side note: Gray is probably the most plain of all colors but it is one of my favorite colors.

I slept in. I consumed a cup of delightful goodness, a.k.a coffee.  I had really good conversation with my sister. I went shopping and didn't buy one thing for myself, which I think is an accomplishment. I spent most of the day with my mother and sister. I will eat pizza for dinner. I will spend the evening with my nieces. Which reminds me; I should go. But one last thing before I do... I have mentioned some of the things that I like about today, (the list could be longer,) but take it all away and I would still have reason to rejoice.
  ~His steadfast love endures forever.

"This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances ; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."  -  1Thessalonians. 5:16-18